Caffeinate and Conversate

Being a stay at home mom is glamorous. You have a clean home. Well dressed kids. Play dates. Sick kids… your home! Kids need a ride home… perfect your availability is open. You don’t work… OMG you’re so lucky! Gosh you live a Pinterest mom life! I’m so jealous!!!

What I see… four walls… the same four walls. Day after day… week after week… I’m lonely… so alone. I’m not sure who I am… besides a mom. Hobbies? … does changing diapers count?

I feel when people think of a stay at home mom they think of tv shows and movies. But real life isn’t that glamorous. We don’t have husbands who make multi millions, we can’t just run to the salon, or fancy lunch dates. We have to hold down the house, prepare meals, run to the store or kids activities, and be present for our husbands.

We don’t have work friends or time away. We don’t get lunch breaks or a moment to think. Some of us even work on top of all the things we do daily. But because our income doesn’t qualify as “bringing home the bacon” it’s not viewed as a job but a hobby. We often lose our purpose. We are no longer a person, we are just this human who purely exists in this world. 

Getting dressed up for a date night with the hubby sounds like a dream until the day of and then it feels like a nightmare. Going to get your nails done sounded like something you really need until mom guilt hits hard. Then you just feel selfish. Finally found a friend and made plans for dinner knowing your husband is home. Nice everything is aligned. Until your husband calls or texts a thousand times cuz “dad don’t do it like mom” or dads losing his shit,etc. could you imagine calling your husband at a business meeting asking why we are out of milk?!

Truth is we dream of days when we can be “normal” . We wish we could work outside the home. We feel depleted, worthless, exhausted, and depressed. Only to have salt rubbed in our wounds when hubby comes home and grabs his bag of golf clubs and leaves to hang with the boys or his ass is firmly planted on the couch watching you tend to everything. 

There is a stigma about moms curling up crying on the bathroom floor but if only people knew how much truth those memes hold